


Why

by delicatelyglitterywriter



Category: Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio), Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Audio 1.4: A Blind Eye, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22476706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicatelyglitterywriter/pseuds/delicatelyglitterywriter
Summary: There's nothing more Romana wants to do than sleep, but first, she needs to check on Leela.
Relationships: Leela/Romana II
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	Why

**Author's Note:**

> people to blame for this:  
> 1) the people who wrote gallifrey vol 1 for hurting leela like that  
> 2) zoey for getting me into leela/romana  
> 3) me, if you liked it

It’s been a long day, and Romana wants nothing more than to lie down. 

She’s finished recording the days’ events in 1939 in the proper places, organised a date for Andread’s trial, and taken some lozenges for her sore throat. She’s still not dealt with the High Council, who she knows will  _ definitely _ have something to say about the day, but that can wait until tomorrow. 

Romana sighs as she trudges along towards her bedroom, not bothering to hide her weariness. All she wants is to sleep. And put Arkadian behind bars. But the latter could wait for another day. 

Even with her mind only on her bed, as she passes Leela’s room, she finds herself pausing. The door is open, and she considers going inside, just to check on Leela. She knows Leela’s been through a lot today, and is grieving, even if she denies it. After debating it in her head, Romana quietly pushes the door open and steps inside. The room looks untouched; even the bed is still made. It doesn’t take Romana long to locate Leela, through another set of open doors, leading out to the balcony, where Leela is sitting, staring out over the wilderness.

Romana goes up to her wordlessly, but makes enough noise with her footsteps to not startle Leela. She pulls up a chair next to Leela, digs into her pocket and pulls out a bag of jelly babies, holding it out to Leela.

“Jelly baby?”

In her peripheral, Romana can just see Leela smile as she helps herself to a few. Romana eats a couple, too, opting to not say anything to Leela, lest she be accused of coming to pity her. She knows that if Leela wants to talk, she’ll do it in her own time. In the meantime, she simply sits and looks out over her beloved planet, loving the peacefulness of it all. No paperwork, no diplomacy, no yelling at the boys for their irresponsibility, no ridiculous collar; just the endless red sand and rolling hills and stars. 

“Why?”

Romana turns her head to Leela, having almost forgotten Leela was there with her. “Hmm?”

“Why did he betray me?” Leela asks, her voice soft and carefully void of emotion. Romana sighs, thinking back to Andread’s pleas and excuses he’d given to her earlier that afternoon.

“I don’t know.”

“Liar,” Leela spits. Romana doesn’t react. “I know you talked to him earlier. What did he say?”

Romana reaches up a hand to push her hair back, and turns back to the landscape. “You wouldn’t like what he said.”

“Tell me,” Leela demands, before adopting a softer tone. “Please. I need to know.”

“You’d find out at his trial,” Romana reasons, really not wanting to tell her what Andread had said. 

“I would rather hear it from you,” Leela pleads. “Please, Romana.”

Romana sighs deeply. “He said he did it for you, and for any aliens who wanted to settle here in the future. He said that by eliminating the scheme believed to exist, he could make sure you could have a better life - perhaps even be accepted here one day - by ensuring I didn’t lose my presidency. He phrased it more elegantly, but that’s the general gist of what he said.”

Leela doesn’t answer for the longest time. Romana goes back to looking at the stars, fighting back her emotions. She feels deeply for Leela, and frustrated that there’s not much she can do for a person who insists she doesn’t need comfort. Sure, she can make Andread suffer horribly for hurting Leela so, but she knows that won’t heal Leela. 

“He was what made it worthwhile,” Leela says sadly. “I did not, and do not care for the other Time Lords. Why did he not think about that?”

“I think he only wanted to make you happy,” Romana answers. 

“ _ He _ was my happiness.”

“I know.”

“Why did he not think about that?” Leela asks, her voice strained. Romana sighs again. She has an answer she can give, involving the psychology of love, but she knows it’s not the answer that will help Leela. Leela needs to know there are others who care about her, too, not dozens of psychological theories about love and its effects on a person.

“I don’t know.”

She hears Leela draw in a shaky breath, but pretends she doesn’t. Leela will share her feelings when she’s good and ready, not before. Romana eats another jelly baby.

“I wish Torvald had killed him,” Leela says eventually, her voice thick with tears that Romana can’t see. “At least then I would only have had to mourn a dead husband once. I might have even remembered him as a hero.”

Romana squeezes her eyes shut, her hearts aching with compassion towards Leela. She doesn’t know what to say, and even if she did, she doesn’t know if she’d be able to say it without crying. She bites down on her lip and opens her eyes again, glad for the dark hiding her pain from Leela. She wonders if Leela’s also glad for the dark. 

She hears Leela sniffle, though it’s clear she tried to do it quietly, and after a little hesitation, Romana puts the jelly babies away and cautiously holds out her hand for Leela. She’s never been particularly good at knowing how to comfort others, and she hopes she’s making the right choice. Leela doesn’t react. Romana waits, thinking she just needs time, but soon thinks she’s made the wrong decision. She’s about to go for the jelly babies again when Leela does react, gently placing her hand in Romana’s, interlocking their fingers. Romana breathes a silent sigh of relief and subconsciously begins to rub her thumb in circles on the back of Leela’s hand.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Leela asks after a long silence. 

“I think you should start with a good night’s sleep. After that,” Romana swallows thickly, “it’s up to you, whether you stay or leave. You’re always welcome with me, but if you’d rather not stay, you can go wherever you want. I can arrange for a shuttle to take you wherever you want to go, or you can go live outside the city, if you’d rather. It’s your choice.”

Romana draws in a deep breath, having said all that in one breath. She knows she can’t make Leela stay, but she really hopes Leela chooses to remain. She’s incredibly fond of Leela and would hate to lose her. 

“What would you like me to do?” Leela asks. Romana shakes her head.

“What I want isn’t relevant,” Romana says, though it pains her to. “It’s entirely your choice.”

Sure, she could order Leela to remain, as the President of Gallifrey, but she couldn’t bear to demand Leela stay in a place she was miserable, just for the sake of her own happiness. She braces herself for Leela to say she wants to leave.

“I do not know what to do,” Leela sighs quietly. “I do not belong here, but I also do not wish to leave you.”

The admission catches Romana off guard. She knows Leela likes her, but she didn’t think Leela liked her  _ that _ much that it might influence her decision on whether to stay or leave.

“I...care about you,” Leela finishes. Romana swallows thickly, though she’s not sure why. She  _ knows _ Leela cares about her, but for some reason, the words feel different than how one would say it to a friend. But, strangely enough, Romana almost  _ prefers _ the heavier implications, liking that it sounds remarkably intimate. 

The epiphany hits her like a train - and she can say she knows exactly how that feels - and she gulps, forcing her hearts’ rate back down before Leela can realise her emotions. She sneaks a sideways glance at Leela, allowing herself to become captivated by Leela’s beauty, just for a minute. The way the gentle breeze makes her hair dance in a beam of light coming from the bedroom behind them, the way the light emphasises her shoulders, how soft Leela’s hand feels in her own…

Romana clears her throat softly, once again glad for the dark so Leela doesn’t see her blush. Unsure how to respond to Leela’s proclamation, and her own onslaught of feelings, Romana does the only thing she can think to do. She lifts Leela’s hand and presses a tender kiss to the back of it. She feels Leela turn to her, and she deliberately avoids looking at her.

“You’d always belong with me, if you wanted,” Romana says, before Leela can talk, and she immediately kicks herself for her choice of words. It sounds so...possessive. Not that she doesn’t feel kind of possessive of Leela, but it still feels inappropriate when they’re still skirting around the word. But Romana knows they can’t say it; not yet, not so shortly after Leela’s loss.

“I mean, you’d always have a place with me,” Romana corrects. “Whether you stayed, or whether you left and then came back. I’d never turn you away.”

Romana doesn’t have to look at Leela to know she smiles. Then Leela does something unexpected: she leans over and gives Romana a kiss on the cheek. Romana swallows her squeak and represses a shiver as Leela speaks, still close enough for her breath to tickle Romana’s skin.

“Thank you, Romana.”

Romana can only nod as Leela settles back in her chair once again, and, together, they stare out over the landscape.


End file.
